Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Welcome To Facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +15

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops