What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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Women's rights.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Tell you something funny.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops