Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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peter charastabopouloulous

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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your mom

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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24

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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