press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Yes.

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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