How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

Penis

What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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