Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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conrad profit

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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