Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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