An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A pedophile walks into a daycare

thumb_up thumb_down +17

wnba

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's red and u drink it Koolaid

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the fish say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops