The Bible

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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black people

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Wats a joke?

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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