Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Black People.

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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anti jokes

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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