How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

potato farming

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

S.O.P.A

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops