Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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cms.......?????

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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