A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Golf.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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