Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is white and sticky? glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

AROUND

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops