Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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Benevolent villain.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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