A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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