Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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João Duarte reads this.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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