What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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