A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops