Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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