Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

mmm i love marble bumhole

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

thumb_up thumb_down -22

LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops