what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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GOODBYE

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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