Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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