You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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kieran is a homosexual

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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69

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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