What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops