A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops