how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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women's rights

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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