A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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women's rights

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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