what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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i just wrote this so hard

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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