Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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