Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

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haha

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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