What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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