What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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