Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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