Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops