chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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69.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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