What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +31

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +31

if you are reading this your wasting your time

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops