What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

roy g biv

Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

Comments my ladyfriends are totally not daring me to type here *yawn* My penis is small. Nero`s penis not active and retractable. My penis is only 19 cm. Nero wishes it was "only" that big, fuck I got more self irony than these got guts! "Nero is hung like a horse" Nero has not, nor will ever try to compare, but fuck, proportionally its impossible huh? "Nero is underrating himself" Pff, A God is always a God. "Nero is an insane Narcissist" Two of the ones Nero regularly bangs dared him say that, if that's my name, I love this game. "Nero has a bent dick" What? I do not, some people do, is that good or bad? Nero could not care for the opinions of others but you right... Fuck nevermind. "Can we stop quoting my dick, seriously?" What I just said out loud. "Nero is an animal rapist" Nero believes that the newcomer that first dared me to say "His dick is "ONLY" 19 cm" is being a bit passive agressive, just a tiiiny bit, now lets go with child molester and pictures or something huh? SIgh... "Nero has balls of steel" Now, we are really on the same wavelength. "Nero would never do this on youtube" I regularily do and will stop now just to show off. "Nero knows no fear" I FEAR tht you might be wrong, but I FEAR you might also be right "Nero adds the comments under because he gets insecure" No, but if you keep adding all with "Nero" as in third person instead of I, it wont quite add up will it? "Nero nearly always refers to himself in third person" Nero concurs "Nero has bitemarks on his penis" The shame! Oh no! XD because men really dont like to show off their scars lol XD, my dick has been sucked by thousands the shame XD "Nero is not brave but borderline insane" Ouch... Seriously it takes balls to be borderline insane, and I am completely and total insane, I could sit down and yell this at a karaoke bar you know... Why not? "Nero has feelings" This is my own, fuck I am brave, even brave enough to admit I dislike this being questioned. "Nero is afraid of hights" "Nero admits that jumping from a 120 store skyscraper left him sleepless for two weeks or something insane, I happen to do much of my work at that same floor so OBJECTION DISHONORED!" "Nero is not a sex God" Nero is confused, Nero gets told that all the time in bed. "Nero gets lied to in bed" Thats just mean, what does that have with admitting stuff. "Its settled, Nero is fucking bad ass" I know and I keep telling you, now you realize? "Girl S, girl B, and girl T and K do not enjoy having their first letter in their names mentioned" Nero gives zero fucks. "Nero is getting blueballs" True, oh no, my sex drive is excellent. "Nero got beaten by a bitch" You just asked me to quote you s a bitch, okay I typed that and you girls noticed that but did you notice that I apologized for using that word? No? Well good luck finding it now! But hey, I am sorry I did not mean it, I was just getting VERY TIRED FROM EXTREMELY HARD SEX So is it forgiven? "Nero is forgiven" Sincerely, that is the weirdest most akward thing Nero has been dares to post so far, Nero does not believe in forgiveness but in taking responsability. "Seriously BITCHES! Give me something challenging!" Nero deals fair and justly to the deserving "Nero`s typing sucks in english" GIRLS SPEAKING LIKE ZOMBIES HAVE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR, NERO IS NOT A LAWYER IN ANY ENGLISH SPEAKING NATION AND KNOWS SIXTEEN OTHER LANGUAGES EIGHT OF THEM WHICH HE USES DURING A YEAR. "THIS IS GETTING BORING" Mine. "Game Over BITCHES!" You wont admit I am bad ass enough to post all of this, I wont admit that you got the... Whatever it takes to behave like girls women whatever you like. "Nero will post this because he is insane" Nero wonders if that was a dare or just girls agreeing completely with his opinion of self. Posting. "NOO WAIT DONT BE STUPID WE, I ETC ARE JUST KIDDING DONT DO IT" Nero senses buncha idiots but shuts his ears, this was a dare and Nero is a daredevil... To the point where Nero does not understand why he had to detach the laptop and hide in the toilet in order to post this... Nero hears its all like "Do not humiliate yourself" "Do you have no self dignity?" "Nero does not understand what the fuck is humuliating nor against self dignity..." Well What the FUCK does a REAL NEROMAN NEED SOME QU33R DIGNITY FOR! "Nero hears girls questioning Nero`s social awareness" XD "Nero does not care what the fuck random people thinks about him, there will always be bad opinions, jealous opinions, and opinions that lead to sex" "Nero is not perfect, but wont admit it" Nero is not perfect, he knows, but Nero has not claimed so either, so Nero thinks that people should stop thinking that Nero is perfect. "Wow, did he like really post it? That is so like lame!" Nero, can hear in girls voice that they are merely testing Nero. "Nero claims he posted this to them" Girls laugh, Nero was right, they laugh with Nero not at Nero, "Really asks one girl to Nero" Not yet, here goes... What, is this supposed to be humiliating? I HAVE A SAYAN SWAGGER BITCHES! (did not actually say that, but... Employerss wont stop reading Nero`s stuff and get to work. "Nero will start cutting the daily salary of his employers" Mark my words. "Nero can you just get the fuck out of the toilet?" Nero holds on a bit, girl does not know there is another toilet, this could get fun and kinky. "Is he actually using it?" I dares myself here, people think im shitting or something, okay time to post this sigh ever boring crap that humored them at least, and that will make them go "Asshole I almost pissed myself" Nero regrets opening the door at all XD Next time... And then Nero will tell idiot B that there are four toilets at the very same corners... Which is far less weird than it sounds, no crowding at parties fancy with the fucking ugly and disgusting employees that are still reading this (YES YOU!) And the hot chicks, and me parties... (this is not a party, this is a... Smaller grouping). "Nero is a braggart" Ok you got me there, my lifestyle includes expressing the joy pride and happiness it gives me, the satisfaction, without revealing the name of my bitches... Nor girls/women/cousins/female anima... Ok not that last one, well actually she was fucking ugly, and it was a dare, so maybe she passes as a... No? Nah, Nero cant say such things even to the ones of... "Inner beauty". "NERO IS FINISHED" Now Nero just regrets keeping the door close, you which read this far too, because you could have seen the cutest prettiest boobiest girl in the group, piss herself at. "Why knows, I turned on the webcam.com and Nah, I dont reveal that kinda shit to others than God and myself... Which is of course only myself" "Nero is a fetishist" Ok of what? Nice one, Neither Nero nor the "suggesters" know... "Nero is bored of this and wont have more suggestions" DAMN STRAIGHT! "NO DONT POST THAT YOUR DIGNI" NERO FUCKS DIGNITY AND POISE AND... NERO IS METAL HARDCORE HE CHAINSAWS PETS HEADS OFF BY DAY AND DEFENDS THOSE ACCUSED OF CHAINSAWING PETS HEADS OF BY NIGHT. "Dont Post that come on!" Nero gives Zero fucks about what whiny girl B almost pissed herself girl thinks, and he still scores... If you know what I mean ;) "NOOOO WTF! WHY WHAT WILL THE HORSEHEAD NETWORK THINK OF YOU?" Well I am already the Moral Man and the most pointless invention which is a man (unless you include Justin Beiber, which makes you weird) Moral: It also means that I am the man whose "moral name" has most green thumbs" "Nero please, I need to use the toilet, I got to pee" Lol XD okay not in the mood for this, and the word pee with that voice made what could have been fun sound... Too young. "NERONERONERONERONERONERO" MORAL MAN

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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