Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

What do you call it? Whatever it is.

Click here for free sandwich.

A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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