A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +10

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops