If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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homosexual rights to marriage

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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