How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

If you have a stroke, call 000

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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