How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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