a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

charlie sheen becomes sober.

Jokes Ki Duniya

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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