How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops