What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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