How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's green and blue? yellow

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops