What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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