What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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