I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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I enjoy Popcorn

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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think twice or at least think

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops