How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops