what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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