Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

69

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is green and slow Grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your so gay, that you like men!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

p

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops