What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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